Again, this is a very obvious thing, but it's important to point it out because, at the very least, as visitors in a new country, we need to 'behave' and we also need to understand what our new friends are trying to tell us, besides, it can be very useful to be able to interprete what extra things we can get from the non-verbal communication.
The first thing that comes to my kind when talking about this subject is the nod. We all understand in the the West that a nod means 'understood', 'agreed' or 'yes', here in Asia it may not mean that, sometimes it literally means, 'I don't understand a rat's ass what you're saying and I'm being polite with you', here the same pointer I gave in my previous post applies, make sure your counterpart understands what you're saying confirming his/her understanding. This applies even more when you're just starting a new job in your new home. Keep this in mind!
One very important thing you need to understand about body language is the fact that in most Asian countries, seniority is very important and it's highly respected, so a person who's under your supervision or seniority level will not feel at all comfortable saying 'no' to you in a verbal way (at least at the beginning), so it will be your job to understand when they're accepting something while not being totally OK with it, in my experience, these expressions could be as subtle as a slightly awkward smile while you talk to them or a twitch in their noses or as obvious as the expression someone would make if you ask them to kill their parents, but they will still not say the word 'no' to you. Be very aware of it and as always try 'sell not tell' - one important pointer here, don't take the 'never saying no' too much to your advantage, what you're thinking now it's still sexual harassment here :)
Body language changes from country to country, not just from continent to continent, but of course the differences are more marked here. It is our job as visitors to understand what our hosts are trying to communicate and for us to follow the social conventions of their culture. Now the best way to do this, again goes back to the pointer before mentioned, if 2 or more people use corporal expressions which clearly oppose to those of your own culture, you can pretty much assume that's a common thing in your new home town.
Now, social interactions can be almost as important as body language, there are many things in the behavioral aspects that can shock you and things you do that shock them, I will give some examples of both side here so you can understand better, these can be in some cases quite amusing:
- Burping. For some Asian cultures burping is fine anywhere and anytime, you can be in the middle of a meeting, in the train going home, or even on the phone with them and they will find it perfectly fine to let go of a burp, this could be a big shocker for some, I'd assume even more to females, but we just need to get used to it, I'm not saying you should start burping wherever you go, but beware, so the shocker is reduced
- Peeing conversations. Yes, you read that right. This one is of course about males, I don't have experience of what women do when they're in the bathroom as I never go to their bathroom, hey, wait, there was this time... ermmm, no, I think that story doesn't belong here, or even in my blog :P. Anyway, in the West, our interactions in the bathroom are 'hey', at the most a 'wassup' and never a 'how's it hanging', but for some cultures in Asia it seems to be a perfectly acceptable thing, to have a long conversation while grasping your penis having someone doing the same in the urinal next to you, or having an argument with his girlfriend on the phone, while peeing...
- For us, we need to be aware of what we do with our feet. It can be very offending if you put your feet over a chair or a table, in most places in Asia feet are considered dirty and should not be used in almost any interaction with people. This can be as extreme as kicking a tennis ball while playing with someone. One time I reached a ball on the second bounce after running a lot, and out of frustration I kicked it, I was immediately corrected by my friend, saying that was very rude and he was gentle enough to explain why I shouldn't do that
- In meals. To understand this one, you should know I love soy sauce, so when I eat sushi or sashimi I dip it all inside the sauce. Once in Tokyo, I was in a business dinner with some customers and eating in the same way I always do, and I was told by my host to dip just a bit, because the way I was eating was impolite and I was loosing face as well as making him loose face, as my host
The body language you should understand and the behavior you should follow are 2 of the most important things you need when you come to this beautiful continent. Remember in Asia, interactions in social activities such as lunch and dinner are extremely important for your business activities and it could as easily make or break a deal, in the same way it could do it while talking business in the office. In Asia the social part of business can be as important as the business itself. This could mean you will be forced to go for drinks after work or even take your Asian customers to places you would not usually go (i.e. a ladyboy bar), so warn your better half about this, because this is an aspect of doing business in Asia that could easily bring you problems in your private life, so beware! Maybe it'd be a good idea if you suggest your husband/wife/person-who-you-sleep-with to read this, it could give you an impartial ally in a highly probable argument (not that I'm trying to boost my 2 readers)
In my previous posts I've been mentioning a lot the 'sell, not tell' technique in management, I guess the time has come to talk about it and how to use it in your work-life in Asia and in particularly in hard-to-ask things, so obviously, my next post will be about that. Please feel free to comment with questions, suggestions or critics, anything welcome!
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